“Did you check the back of the store too?” asked Dave impatiently. He was hunting today, not for birds or deer, but for Dora.
“Sir, I’m sorry, but we’re sold out of every single Dora the Explorer DVD there is,” informed Target’s manager sternly. “There’s absolutely nothing in the back, and we’re gonna be sold out until next Monday, okay?”
Dave glanced toward the rows of electronics again, half expecting groups of parents to mock him. He had to get a Dora DVD for his niece on her birthday, but so far he had failed as a hunter. However, he wouldn’t go home hungry without a fight.
“What about that?” Dave asked, pointing to a sign of Dora dancing with a blue monkey. “Is that on sale yet?”
“Oh, Dora’s Dance Fiesta, yes,” he began. Dave’s eyes glimmered with hope. “That goes on sale tonight at midnight.”
He sensed every customer’s disappointment in him. You don’t love her, he imagined them whispering in the aisles. Isn’t he the most embarrassing uncle you’ve ever seen?
“Oh, you gotta be kidding me, right? Can’t you just sell it to me today? There’s no way I’m coming back out here.”
“Sorry sir, store policy won’t allow it,” the manager said slowly and carefully. Dave wasn’t in preschool anymore, but apparently the manager hadn’t realized that yet.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll remember to tell my niece that when she doesn’t get my birthday present tomorrow. Store policy wouldn’t allow it, sweetie,” Dave shouted, attempting to hide his shame. He waited for the manager to put him in time-out. When that didn’t happen, he made his way out of the store.
On his way home, a ride that seemed to take him from one planet to another, Dave cursed himself. You’re so stupid, he thought, you should’ve gotten this gift weeks before her birthday, not the day before!
Once home, Dave threw open the door and ran for the computer. Dave heard Heather, his wife, shut the door calmly and follow him in. He clicked on his Internet Browser, tortured by the slow wait. After the longest ten seconds of his life, eBay popped up, and like a roadrunner he typed in Dora the Explorer into the search bar.
“Dave,” began Heather “come on, it’s okay. I already bought her some really cute outfits.”
“Oh great, outfits. Yeah, she’ll love that gift,” Dave retorted sarcastically. He heard her sigh, but that wasn’t important now. He had found a bid ending in five minutes for a “Super Deluxe Gift Set Dora the…”
“You spoil her, Dave. You do realize that, don’t you?”
“I don’t spoil her, I just love her. She deserves whatever she wants,” he said, placing a $50 bid.
“She doesn’t, though.” Dave felt her sit next to him. This was occurring on a different planet though, for eBay was the sole priority. “Remember last week when you bought her ice cream? She didn’t thank you, she just complained that you didn’t get it exactly the way she wanted.”
“So? It was my fault!” The bid had increased already. He refreshed the screen and placed $100 down with three minutes to go. “And she’s turning five tomorrow, Heather. It’s not like she can be held responsible like an adult.”
There was a brief silence. “Do you understand anything you’re saying? I love her too, Dave, but this has gone too far. If you can’t find the damned DVD, then accept it. She’ll have to too.”
“You don’t get kids, do you Heather?” He refreshed the page. The bid was up to $104. He entered in $200. “I love her, okay? If she wants a DVD, then I’m sure as hell gonna get it for her.”
From the corner of his eye, Dave saw her stand up and walk away. What she said was true; he didn’t entirely understand why he was going this far for her. Girls love clothes Dave thought. What could be wrong with giving her clothes for her birthday?
Because my niece isn’t just any girl.
“Dave, if you wanna throw $200 away on some cartoon, go ahead. If you think that will win you her love…”
Dave spun around on the chair, anger growing by the second. “Just because she doesn’t love you doesn’t mean you can bring me down too.” He didn’t take his eyes off of her until he knew she was hurt. He would later apologize, but she had struck a very sensitive area in Dave’s heart. He turned back to the screen. Thirty seconds remained. The bid was at $255. He punched in his final bid, $300, without hesitation.
And then he waited. Waited for an eternity that was thirty seconds long. He clawed at his face in nervousness. He used his other hand to bang the desk in rhythm. Dave could hear his heart pumping. Somewhere in the recess of Dave’s mind, he could see his niece smiling.
Dave refreshed the page, and looked for the winner’s user name. Angela2001. It was his! Dave jumped up from his swivel chair and shouted in joy.
“Yes! Yes!”
“You won it?” his wife asked from afar.
“Yeah! It was only $300!” He laughed again. Angela was opening her gifts in Dave’s head. She sighed at the boring clothes, praying for her Dora DVD. She began to open Dave’s gift, smiling because she knew her favorite uncle would come through for her. She pulled the gift set out and began to cry in happiness, embracing her uncle.
Oh thank you Uncle Dave, this is the greatest gift ever!
“I hope she likes it,” Heather began.
Dave saw tears running down Heather’s face. His excitement had flown south. He walked over to console her, to hold her. He worshiped Heather religiously, and treated her like royalty. How could something like this blindside his true feelings for her?
“I’m so sorry I said what I said. She loves you too, and everyone knows it. I definitely know it. I see it in Angela’s eyes, the way she looks at you. She trusts you. She needs you. No one’s ever needed me. I just want her love so bad. It’s so easy for you.”
Dave drew her closer to his body. She was wearing the perfume he had gotten her on their recent anniversary. “Oh don’t say that; you know she loves you. She talks about you all the time.”
Dave squeezed his eyes shut. “Do you see the way she smiles when you come around, when Uncle Tom teases her? I don’t get to see her ever. I’m always so busy with work. I’m surprised she even remembers my name.”
“Show me the gift, Dave,” Heather said, pulling him toward the computer.
Dave felt strange in his heart. Maybe it was the way he treated his wife earlier, maybe it was how he needed attention. He realized then that he had only read the title of the auction, and nothing in the description.
“Here, I’ll read it aloud,” said Dave, trying hard to keep his mistake from arising in his tone: “Super Deluxe Gift Set, Dora the Explorer” Dave stopped immediately. He knew his wife had read it already, too. He could hear her mocking him in her head. You failure, he was sure she was thinking, that’s what you get for being an asshole. That’s why she doesn’t love you; all you do is hurt people.
“You are bidding on a Dora the Explorer Newborn Nursery Set…” Dave closed his eyes. She was laughing inside, he was positive of it.
“It’s okay, Dave…we’ll donate it to charity,” Heather said. There was compassion and sympathy in her voice. Dave knew it was a disguise though. She didn’t care. She didn’t understand what this meant to Dave. She would never understand, not even in death.
“It’s being shipped express. She would’ve gotten it when she woke up…”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You made a mistake, and that’s okay.”
This irritated Dave. For Angela’s sake he wouldn’t shout again. He pushed his chair, and left the way he came in only ten minutes earlier. In the car, he put his head down on the steering wheel. Why couldn’t he do just one simple thing right? All he had to do was read the auction’s description, and he could’ve found a better deal.
He pulled his cell phone out and dialed Angela’s number. It rang a few times.
“Hello?” asked the little girl.
“Hey, Angela. I heard it’s someone’s birthday tomorrow!”
“Yeah, I’m five years old! Are you coming to my Dora party?”
“Of course I am. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Dave’s voice stumbled a bit. He hoped she didn’t catch it.
“I gotta go. I love you Uncle Dave.” The connection went dead. He thought about calling her back, but he decided against it. He had a long drive back to the store, and time was precious.
“Where are you going?” Heather asked through the window.
“There’s a midnight opening for a new Dora DVD. It’s my last shot,” he said, opening the window.
“Dave, no matter what you get her, she’ll be grateful. So will your brother. You’ve done so much for his family, Dave. Too much.”
“I’ll be back around 3 hopefully.”
Heather looked deep into Dave. He felt her sight in his bones. “You know, I love you too, Dave,” she said.
He nodded. “I know,” he said, rolling up the window. He pulled out of the driveway, and made his way back to Target. To pass the time, he imagined Angela’s birthday party all over again. He held her in his arms, and she giggled like she would for Heather.
The line at Target’s door at closing time was about 30 people long. Dave parked the car and quickly jumped in before he lost his chance. He looked at their faces. Some were excited, most were annoyed. He couldn’t understand how they weren’t glad to be standing in line to see their children smile. If I had a child, I would never be able to say no. Not after Angela, not ever again.
“Some party, eh?’ A man in front of Dave asked.
“I guess it’ll be worth it in the end though, right?” Dave replied.
“Ha, for them or for you?” the man asked jokingly. Dave, however, contemplated it seriously. She loves Dora. That’s all she watches, he thought. It’s obviously worth it for her. I guess it’s worth it for all the love I’ll receive. But that doesn’t matter…right? Who’s satisfaction am I trying to feed here?
The line began to move right on schedule like a train pulling into the station. But as soon as the train docked, order collapsed. Parents ran in all different directions, taking their own personal shortcuts to get their copy. This chaos discombobulated Dave. His mind blanked on where the DVDs were being held.
Dave ran. He pushed his way through crowds and knocked items off their shelves if they got in his way. He couldn’t find any employees to assist him. He begged other shoppers to take him with them, but no one listened. He was but a solitary creature in this wild jungle. He was beginning to believe that there were no DVDs at all, that the store had done this on purpose to screw eager parents (and uncles) over.
But then he saw the electronics department. He bolted for it, nearly taking down everyone around him. There they were: “Dora’s Dance Fiesta.” He placed his hands on the Holy Grail. He was enlightened. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. He had discovered true happiness. It was all in this DVD. Dave jumped in the air and shouted in excitement. People gathered and clapped for him. They were finally proud of him. Dave was finally proud of himself. He received a parade of hi-fives on his way to the cash register, where the cashier’s smile radiated throughout the store. He felt like the King of the World.
“You’re a lucky man, sir,” the cashier said. “My daughter is dying for this movie.” Dave smiled. In his heart, Angela was dancing right along with Dora and her monkey, Boots. She thanked Dave over and over as he laughed and commended himself.
“That’ll be $18 dollars, sir.”
Dave reached into his back pocket for his wallet. His hand returned empty. Dora had abandoned Angela. Dave had abandoned her too. She was all alone.
“Oh please…please, I forgot my wallet at home. It’s two and half hours away. Could you hold onto it for me? I’ll be back as soon as possible, I swear.” The line behind Dave stared at him, slowly removing his kingship.
“Sir…I can’t guarantee this DVD will still be here in five hours. I’m sorry.”
Dave felt a burning sensation in his eyes. It came from the very bottom of his heart, a place rarely explored by human beings. He reached for the movie; he wanted to feel true happiness again. The cashier now held it. He would probably keep it for himself. Dave loathed the cashier. Why should he be allowed to have this royal gift?
“It’s my niece’s birthday tomorrow. She wants this so bad. I’ve tried all day to get it for her, to just get something for her, and now it’s finally in my hands, and I have to give it up again…Please, I need this. I need this more than anything.”
The cashier bowed his head. “There’s nothing I can do, sir.”
Dave could barely watch the Holy Grail be taken away let alone leave the cash register in one piece. The store had grown silent. He felt their eyes on him. He didn’t care if they mocked him or sympathized with him anymore. In his own mind, he was positive he could fall no lower.
He sat on the curb adjacent to his car. He didn’t want to get in, for he knew it would only lead him to a depressed child. It was a depression he had caused, and no child should ever feel that way. He kicked the car, leaving a scratch on the door. He wanted to scream and shout and violate every law he could. He sighed miserably; he had no other choice but to go home.
“Hey buddy, wait up,” called a man from across the parking lot. Dave squinted to catch a better view. It was the man who had talked to him in line. “Here, I got you something,”
Wrapped in the red and white Target bag was the DVD. It managed to shine in the dead of night. Dave was dumbfounded. He looked at the man, and then back at the gift.
“Why?” Dave couldn’t think of anything else to say to him. He rubbed his hands against the plastic cover. It felt like a dream, though Dave begged not to awake.
“Well, I guess I had to make that trip worth it for you too, right?”
“I don’t even know where to begin to thank you.”
“Can I give you some advice?” The man pulled out his wallet and showed him a picture of his son. He pointed at it gently, as if it was the actual boy he was actually showing. “This right here is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to my wife and I. I bought him so much shit that we had no room for his crib in his bedroom.
“We almost lost him, you know. He was premature. There were complications that tear me apart to this day whenever I mention them. I realized that all the shit I got him didn’t matter at all. If I didn’t have my boy, it would’ve been just stuff gathering dust around the house.
“Once he got better, my wife finally let me hold him. He smiled at me. That’s all I needed to know I would be a good father. I didn’t need to prove it with toys.
“You showed off your humanity in there, just now. I saw that the plea came from your heart, and that’s why I bought this for you. But just know that this plastic doesn’t mean anything. And if this is your definition of love, then it’s a flawed one.
“Giving her this stuff might make you feel happy now, it might make her feel happy now, but just spend time with her, alright? She’s gonna grow out of this stuff sooner or later. Dora won’t be there for her anymore, so who’ll be left? That’s when you know she truly loves you, when she comes to you when there’s no one else left.”
Dave’s jaw was sprawled onto the pavement. The man walked away, leaving Dave motionless. There were too many thoughts running through his mind. He thought about leaving the DVD on the street and driving away as fast as he could, but that man had bought this as a gift. He would never forget who had given it to him. He placed it on the seat next to him carefully, and drove away.
The dream on his way home was slightly different than before. Angela opens her gifts, and she reaches Dave’s. It’s the Dora DVD she was dying for. She turns to him crying with laughter. She hugs him tightly.
Oh thank you Uncle Dave, she would proclaim happily. Thank you for coming to my party.
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